The handfasting ritual has captivated many couples seeking a meaningful and distinctive way to seal their union.
It is neither a fleeting trend nor a modern eccentricity, but an ancestral ceremony that, when adapted, can give real meaning to the entire celebration.
Why are more and more couples choosing handfasting? What sets it apart from other symbolic wedding rituals?
At UAUU, after years of experience with personalised weddings, we have seen handfasting integrated into all types of ceremonies, from intimate gatherings to large-scale celebrations. We analyse why handfasting is much more than simply tying a ribbon.
What is handfasting? Deep origins and meaning
Handfasting is a union ritual with Celtic origins, later spreading to Scotland, Ireland, Scandinavia and even medieval England. The gesture consists of tying the couple’s hands together as a symbol of their commitment and willingness to share a common future.
The word comes from the Old English “handfasten”, literally meaning “to bind the hand” or “to agree with a handshake”. For centuries, handfasting was considered a valid commitment even before civil or religious records existed. It was a way to formalise a relationship in the community—often for a year and a day—before deciding if it would become a permanent marriage.
Today, the meaning has shifted. Handfasting has left its contractual function behind to become a symbolic ritual, full of visual and emotional power. It is the moment when two people show, in front of their loved ones, their intention to walk together, to be bound by respect and freedom.
There are no strict rules, but there is a clear intention: to focus on the bond, on mutual choice, and the value of your word.
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Handfasting in modern weddings: tradition and flexibility
What’s interesting about handfasting is how it has evolved over time.
It no longer belongs to a single culture or requires any specific beliefs. It is now part of civil, symbolic and mixed weddings.
We’ve seen it at outdoor weddings, in country houses, castles, vineyards, family gardens and even urban venues seeking a touch of authenticity. Handfasting works because every detail can be personalised: colours, materials, readings, who participates… everything can be tailored to the style and values of the couple.
At UAUU, every handfasting is unique. Some couples use it as the centrepiece of their ceremony, others combine it with exchanging rings or other gestures like a sand ceremony or a box of wishes.
Some choose a single meaningful ribbon, others several—each with a specific colour and message. What matters is the significance given by the couple and how this gesture sets the tone of the wedding.
How handfasting is performed: practical guide and options
Handfasting can take many forms, but usually follows this basic outline: the couple stand facing each other, intertwine their hands (typically right hand to right hand, though some prefer both hands or a different arrangement), and the officiant—or chosen person—wraps one or more ribbons, cords or braids around their hands.
During this, couples may recite wedding vows, readings, symbolic phrases or even take a silent pause, depending on the ceremony style.
Ribbons can be of different lengths and thicknesses. Some couples choose meaningful fabrics: a family handkerchief, scraps of old dresses, coloured ribbons representing values (passion, friendship, patience, humour), or simply materials that match the style of the wedding.
At UAUU we’ve seen everything from burgundy velvet ribbons to cords embroidered with the couple’s names, and even braided olive or lavender branches for outdoor weddings.
The number of wraps and the knot can also be personalised. Some opt for a simple bow, others for a sailor’s knot (symbolising strength), or simply leave the ribbons loose as a metaphor for a free commitment, with no forced ties.
Sometimes, family or friends are invited to tie a ribbon each, reciting a wish or blessing for the couple.
Atypical Wedding
Vows, texts and readings for handfasting
Handfasting is, above all, a moment of words and connection. It may be accompanied by traditional vows, texts written by the couple, or literary readings. Some couples choose Celtic poetry, others select songs or film lines with personal meaning. At UAUU we recommend keeping the handfasting moment concise to preserve its power—but allow space for the couple to express themselves, without fear of trembling voices or unexpected tears.
Sample text: “With this ribbon we unite our lives. We promise to listen to each other, support one another and walk together in freedom, every day, from today and forever.”
Or: “These ribbons represent our dreams, our differences and all that we share. We accept the challenge of being companions on this journey, with humour, patience and respect.”
The key: the words should feel genuine and reflect the couple’s personalities.
Handfasting and guest participation: making it unique
One of the greatest strengths of handfasting is that it allows others to take part: parents, children, grandparents, friends… They can be the ones to tie the ribbons or read the vows, bringing collective emotion and turning the gesture into a shared memory. Guests often appreciate playing an active role in the ceremony, as they feel they are blessing the union with their affection and support.
Handfasting can also be used to honour family roots—by incorporating heirloom fabrics or materials from places meaningful to the couple (a ribbon from their hometown, a piece from their first gift…). These small details add layers of meaning that the newlyweds will remember for years to come.
Elm Murcia
Handfasting: just for alternative weddings? Debunking the myths
There’s a myth that handfasting is “just for alternative weddings”—hippie or Celtic-inspired.
The reality is that more and more couples of all styles are including it in elegant, classic, urban or rural ceremonies.
Its versatility is absolute: it requires no religious beliefs or closed protocol. It can be combined with any type of celebration, from the most simple civil wedding to the largest of ceremonies, in any venue. The important thing isn’t the ritual itself, but the personal meaning the couple gives it.
Handfasting FAQ
Is handfasting legally binding? No. Handfasting is purely symbolic. If the couple wants legal recognition, they must sign the civil marriage certificate separately. However, it can be included at any moment in the celebration, and is often performed after the vows and before the exchange of rings, or as a closing gesture.
How many ribbons are used? There is no set number. Some couples use a single meaningful ribbon, while others choose several, each with its own message. What matters is that the ribbons reflect the couple’s story and wishes.
Who can officiate the handfasting? Anyone the couple chooses. At many weddings, it’s performed by the celebrant, but it can also be done by a family member, a friend, or even the couple themselves, for more intimacy.
Why choose handfasting: real benefits for the couple
Choosing handfasting means choosing an authentic wedding.
This ritual offers a pause, a moment of presence and commitment that goes far beyond the gesture itself. It allows the couple to truly look at one another, express their wishes aloud, and create a powerful image that will remain in their memory (and their wedding photos). It also fosters creativity, encourages participation and removes the pressure of rigid protocols.
At UAUU, we invite couples to ask themselves: what ritual truly represents us? If the answer is handfasting, we can help you adapt it to your style, space and expectations.
Handfasting at UAUU venues: real inspiration
At our rural wedding venues—country houses, vineyards, castles—we’ve witnessed unforgettable handfastings. Ceremonies among the trees, with sunset light streaming through the leaves; couples improvising a ribbon with a piece of a grandmother’s dress; guests tying ribbons one by one, wishing the newlyweds all the best. Handfasting has something universal about it.[/et_pb_text][/et_pb_column]
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