Planning a wedding involves hundreds of decisions, but choosing your wedding best man is a symbolic and emotional milestone. The best man is more than a formality: he brings meaning, support, and unique memories throughout the journey—from preparations to the last toast.
But what exactly does a wedding best man do? Who should you choose for this role, and how should he prepare his speech? Here’s your definitive guide to the responsibilities, etiquette, and speech tips for a standout wedding best man.
The Role of the Wedding Best Man: Tradition and Modernity
The wedding best man appears in nearly every culture, but with nuances depending on the type of ceremony and family tradition. Traditionally, the best man is the groom’s father, but more and more couples choose brothers, lifelong friends, or even two best men for same-sex or less traditional weddings.
The best man’s primary job is to support the groom through key moments: offering advice, helping with organization, and above all, symbolizing the support of the family or inner circle. During the ceremony, he usually signs as main witness and may carry the wedding rings, unity coins, or offer a blessing at religious weddings.
But the best man’s role goes far beyond protocol. He is the groom’s confidant, the one who offers reassurance in stressful moments, helps resolve unexpected issues, and adds a human touch that makes the wedding feel truly personal.
Who Can Be a Best Man? Requirements and Advice
For civil weddings, there are no legal requirements except being of legal age and, if signing as a witness, having legal capacity. In religious weddings (especially Catholic), the best man may be required to be baptized or meet other criteria.
Choose someone close to you—your father, brother, closest friend, mentor, or someone who’s played a significant role in your life. In equal or unconventional weddings, you might have two best men, a best man and a best woman, or any combination that feels right.
Bottom line: select someone who’s been truly present in your life and will stand by you both during preparations and on the big day.
Best Man Responsibilities: Before, During, and After the Ceremony
Preparation and Support:
The best man is often present when the groom chooses his suit, offers advice about logistics, and keeps things calm in the run-up to the wedding. He often helps organize the bachelor party, solves last-minute issues, and is the groom’s main emotional support.
During the Ceremony:
- Accompanies the groom during his entrance, often arm-in-arm.
- Signs as main witness on the marriage certificate.
- May be in charge of bringing rings, unity coins, or other symbols depending on tradition.
- Supports the family and solves small problems (forgotten items, delays, nerves).
In religious weddings, the best man may participate in blessings or hand over symbolic items like the rings.
During the Reception:
The best man usually kicks off the toasts, delivers a brief and heartfelt speech, and makes sure everything runs smoothly. He might coordinate surprises, help guests, and support the newlyweds throughout the celebration.
The Best Man’s Speech: Structure, Tips, and Examples
One of the most anticipated (and sometimes dreaded) tasks of the best man is the speech. It’s not compulsory, but it’s a cherished moment in most weddings.
Key Tips:
- Prepare your speech ahead of time and practice several times.
- Keep it brief (3–5 minutes), natural, and genuine.
- Start by introducing yourself and expressing your gratitude, mention shared memories or anecdotes that define your relationship with the groom (or couple).
- Address both newlyweds, include kind words for the families, and finish with a wish, a meaningful quote, or a touch of humor.
Sample opening:
“It’s an honor to be here as best man, standing beside my brother/friend on one of the most important days of his life…”
Avoid inside jokes, delicate topics, or personal references that only a few will understand. The main goal is to move, make people smile, and send good wishes to the couple.
Gifts and Thanks for the Best Man
It’s not mandatory, but many couples choose to give a special gift to their best man as a sign of gratitude. Common choices include:
Personalized jewelry (cufflinks, a watch, tie pin).
Accessories for the ceremony (tie, handkerchief, special suspenders).
A shared experience: dinner, an activity together, tickets to a special event.
A personal letter, framed photo, or symbolic keepsake.
The best time to present the gift is before the ceremony or during a quiet moment at the reception, always accompanied by sincere words.
Wedding Best Man: Frequently Asked Questions
- Can there be more than one best man? Yes, especially in equal weddings or if you want to involve more people who are important to you.
- Is it necessary for the best man to sign as witness? No, although it’s traditional. You can assign the roles separately if you prefer.
- What if the best man can’t attend? You can assign the role to another close person. Be sure to notify the venue if you’ve already submitted details for the certificate.
- What qualities make a good best man? Proximity, reliability, empathy, availability, and the willingness to be involved in both the preparations and the wedding day itself.
Conclusion: The Value of a Great Wedding Best Man
Choosing the right wedding best man makes a difference. His support, advice, and involvement bring confidence, emotion, and a sense of closeness to the event. Take time to consider your choice, select someone who truly represents your story, and don’t be afraid to break with tradition if it doesn’t fit.
A committed best man is much more than a figure of protocol—he’s a companion on one of the most important days of your life, and the memory of his support will stay with you forever.